Breaking the food abuse cycle

I’ve been really re-inspired by the people around me who got on the healthy living train this year.

Last year I battled with myself, refound my love of running, ate healthy, cut out alcohol and lost 35 pounds. I wrote about it every step of the way and it helped me stay accountable.

Then I ran my marathon and promptly stopped all this good behavior. Now I’m back to where I started and I’m not happy about it.

I use food and drink as a crutch. There. I said it. Celebrations mean food. Sad days mean food. Stressed? Food. Bad day at work? Pass the fried calamari and red wine. Food. Food. Food. Nom. Nom. Drink. Drink. Blergh.

And as soon as I’m busy, goodbye exercise. Even though this would help me feel better, sleep better and be less stressed, I always have an excuse. Even though it’s only 30 minutes to maybe an hour. That’s it. I’ll lie in bed and watch a program for 45 minutes. Why not go for a run instead? Or do some weights. Or anything!

First things first, I have to have a spring clean. Get rid of old clothes. Old food. Old paperwork. Everything that is cluttering my life and my brain. Then make myself a promise.

When I’m stressed, bored, angry, upset, happy, don’t eat. Dance, go for a run, walk it out. And when it comes to rewards? Not food. Anything but food.

When I was a kid, we didn’t have a lot of money. Pay day meant a shared happy meal. A job well done? A treat. It’s not a bad thing. My mom rocked. And frankly food is cheaper than anything else a kid would like. Chocolate bars are only a dollar! There’s nothing wrong with the occasional treat but I still think of food being the best reward you can get.

Now I’m not saying food is bad. I love food. Food should be enjoyed. You should want a good meal. But I’m abusing it. I’m making myself a victim of food. And like a victim, I keep going back.

I need to change my relationship with food. This is forever thing. And I like eating healthy, I really do. So I just have to change how I think of food. It’s not the golden ticket. It’s not really going to make my day/night/life better. And I can’t just cut everything “good.” It’s about moderation and good choices.

It takes 30 days to form a habit. Today is day one.

Who’s with me?