Why I'm giving up alcohol for Lent

Wednesday is the start of Lent. Last year I gave up caffeine for a month. I was sneaky as I love the taste of coffee and as I could drink decaf it wasn’t like I was giving up much. I’m not very caffeine dependent to function - I’m pretty high energy and frankly should stick to decaf anyway.

This year I’m giving up alcohol.

My relationship with alcohol is a funny one. And not funny ha-ha. There are alcoholics dotted amongst my family. The fact they are alcoholics is never discussed but it’s there. As are some very heavily stocked liquor cabinets. Of course, that’s their story to tell and not my place to tell it. Instead here is my story. It’s something I’ve told very few people. But I think it’s something worth sharing.

At Uni, I went over the line with drinking. I was in a different city and all my upper level classmates used to party a lot. Sundays were the main party night as they didn’t have classes Mondays and the sessions wouldn’t end until 4 or 5 in the morning. As I was in the lower class, I did have school on Mondays and my classmates were amazed I made it through the days after the nights before.

I also hated school and it started to make me deeply unhappy so I went to my doctor. As both my mum and dad have had issues with depression, he put me on medication. You are not supposed to drink when you’re on anti-depressants full stop. But I asked my doctor what to do if I happened to have a drink or two. He said if I did, then take an extra half a pill. I took that as permission to continue to drink and party the same as before but with the added “pleasure” of anti-depressants. I was in a daze. What they don’t tell you about those pills is not only do they deaden the sadness, they deaden everything else. You feel like you’re floating but not in a good happy way. More like a zombie version of you who looks very much alive.

It all came to a head when I was 22 and found myself in a rock star’s hotel room after a night out on the tiles (clichéd I know). Frankly, the night before was fuzzy. I could only remember the night as if it were in randomly taken Polaroids. Probably still a bit drunk and very frightened, I went directly to my doctors. I must have scared the hell out of the receptionist as I’m sure my hair was standing up on end, my face was full of yesterday’s makeup and I was sobbing. She sent me straight in. My doctor took one look at me and said if I continued on the way I was, I would be dead in 5 years. It scared the crap out of me. I binned the pills and the alcohol and didn’t drink a drop for 3 years.

I moved to England when I wasn’t drinking and got a lot of flack about it. My first boyfriend when I was living here even said it made other people uncomfortable when I didn’t drink. After we broke up, drinking slowly crept back in. I drank very very occasional and continued that way for a number of years. I think it really didn’t get to be more frequent than occasional until I started working at PayPal. I had worked from home for 4 years before then so I had a pretty healthy lifestyle for the most part. But all of a sudden there were pub drinks and lunch drinks. Fried foods, cider, beer, wine. On Fridays they opened the fridges downstairs at 5:30 and we would drink til they were empty. We’d then head to the pub until it was so late you’d have to take a cab home.

Everyone did it and the world of alcohol crept back in to my life. One after work turned to two, to three, to…let’s just say I never knew what a Jagger Bomb was before I started there. It didn’t help that I dated someone from work who drank that way on the weekends as well so every time we were together excessive amounts of drink were consumed. The amount that I drank wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own, but I got carried on the wave of drinking until it was a normal everyday thing. And I mean every day. In England it’s a very easy thing to do. And it’s a very hard thing to give up when every function revolves around alcohol.

Unfortunately, drinking doesn’t just make you hung-over the next day. It also adds on the pounds. And the last two years of this lifestyle have added at least 2.5 to 3 stone on to my frame. It’s strange how that creeps up on you too. All of a sudden it’s there. How did that happen? But it does. Especially if you work 10 -12 hours a day and don’t leave time to exercise.

So. It’s Lent. Lent you’re meant to give something up. It’s supposed to be a sacrifice. You’re to give up those things that you love. But this Lent I’m going to give myself a gift. No alcohol for 40 days. Easter was the miracle was it not? Jesus rose from the dead. Maybe I can do the same.