Week 4: time to up the ante

This is basically a double post. I kept meaning to write about my second week but time slipped through my fingers. It takes so much time cooking that all it seems I do is cook bad work.

Week 2 was hard. I had to sometimes wait til I could find something to eat. Having a hotel with no fridge was hard and you get tired of eating cold veggies after a couple days. I’ll have to figure out how to change this up for the future. I made it through and even ran three times that week. Having a treadmill made it easier. The run outside when I came back sucked.

Week 3 I got to get back in the kitchen and I’m trying new things. Some worked…some recipes were not so good but I’m trying. And trying to find things that a picky eater will eat has been a challenge. Especially as that picky eater and I will be moving in together.

We eat very different things, and now that I’ve cut out grains, sugar and alcohol, it’s even less. I’m introducing little things to try to see what he likes, and what doesn’t bother his stomach as he has stomach problems. He eats all the meat and I eat the fish. We’ll see where we can find a middle ground.

I’m working so much that I’m not sure if I have more energy but I definitely feel lighter. And I’m getting lighter.

I went to the dermatologist about my psoriasis and age asked me what kind of treatment would I be willing to undertake: diet changes, supplement or meds. I said I was open to all three. So she put me on flaxseed oil and creams/oil for the external spots I have.

When we talked diet, I told her I cut out alcohol, sugar, dairy and grains 3 weeks ago. She said to keep it up, I’m doing the right thing and I should see results in the next 3 weeks!

Next I have to get back in the rhythm of regular exercise. This is key to my success and my health. This past week I was on my bike for 20 minutes a day but I need more than that. Especially weight training!

So I’ve done another shout out to friends to get back into the swing of things. Last year I discovered I exercise best with others so that’s what I’m going to keep doing. My BF isn’t into working out with others but I have lots of friends who are so I’m not at a loss for people to work out :)

Over the next 3 weeks I’m going through my stuff and purging. It feels like the right time as I purge fat and bad habits at the same time. It’s definitely stressful especially as my boyfriend and I are moving in together but I know it’s going to be wonderful to see him more regularly (even if we occasionally drive each other crazy). I’ll definitely need a post or two dedicated to that…

So I have finished week one and I’m finally feeling good.

I was sickly for the first 4 days but that could have been the jetlag (I just got back from Europe). Headaches and nausea and tiredness was no fun. When I looked at this pic compared to last week, I look less bloated. Great start - but now I need to get the exercise in so I can start getting back into shape (and lose some weight!)

It went really well food wise for my first week. I cooked all my food last week except for a few salads. I survived a birthday picnic and a boozy New York bunch (3 free drinks were included with the meal but I said no! I said no to free :))

The biggest worry for me was flying today. I brought a ton of food and pre-made salads. Some of the food was great for me but the main dish was pasta so salad it was! The steward commented that my salad looked better! Ha!

Dinner at the hotel was problematic. It was greasy and had globs of mayo on it and no real veggies. I picked my way around as best as poss but now I know not to eat here at night. Not necessarily a reflection of this place but after a week of eating super healthy, something not so good is really noticeable. Then again I wouldn’t have liked it even if I wasn’t trying to eat healthy!

The past week I rode my stationary bike at home a few times and today ran 2 miles as a kick start back into running. I have to get training as I have to run a half marathon in 16 weeks. And a huge thank you to everyone who said they would join me on fitness adventures. I’ll be reaching out and planning some things coming up soon!

It’s all in the head…

I know the hardest thing is going to be psychological. I was always the fat kid at school so I always have that image of myself in my head. It doesn’t matter how much I weigh, I feel the same. So it’s easy to be like - hey, I’m fat so it doesn’t matter.

But I’m trying to retrain myself to think that I want to be healthy and fit and live for a long time. So I have to treat my body that way. Then let the chips fall after that.

There are things that are problems for me. They keep creeping back. Alcohol is one - I don’t drink, I lose weight, feel better, and then I drink again and I eat too much and feel lousy. The other is using food and drink to celebrate/have a bad day. Those treats add up. And they add up fast.

What I guess I’m trying to say, is a lot of this is about how we think. We have to break those cycles. And that’s the hardest.

If we don’t break that, we’ll keep going back to how things were. And feel the same negative things about ourselves.

It’s only been a week but this is a battle I’ve been trying to win for the past 30+ years. And the battle has always been within me.

So here’s to week 2 - I’m on the road but I’ll not be deterred. Let’s do this!

The temptations of late night drinking and eating everything fried

I was walking home from our work summer party on Wednesday (and yes - I didn’t drink anything but seltzer water and lime). And all I saw ahead of me were seas of restaurants and bars. “Come in for this deal” “Cheap beer, cheep food, cheep times” “Make your day better with a drink in your hand and some fried food in your belly”

Maybe they didn’t quite say that but you get my drift. It’s no wonder we eat poorly and drink too much. Yes - of course you need self control. I’m not saying we, the people, are completely blameless.

But in New York most people socialize with a drink or some food and not usually the good kind. So I don’t blame them. Everyone likes a good deal. I know I do.

It’s hard to say no to the flashing neon sign, the smell of pizza, fried cheese sticks, bagels, doughnuts and the peals of laughter spilling into the streets from the open windows of bar after bar.

It made me realize that I have to redefine what fun is. Go back to that kid in me and see who will come with me. Yes - I like to drink, but I don’t need to every time I go out. And every night out doesn’t need to revolve around food and drink. Especially the nights where drink leads to those bad late night food choices.

Week one: starting again

Well I’ve had a few misfires over the past year. I watched my weight creep up 5 pounds, 10 pounds, 15…all the way to 25 pounds up from my lowest weight last year, and that wasn’t even my goal weight.

I’m now 50 pounds overweight. I’ve been hiding it ok. But after seeing pictures of me over the past couple months, I knew it was time to change something. Plus…I’m badly out of shape and my joints hurt. Carrying 200 pounds on a 5’8” frame is putting a lot of stress on my body.

I’m kick starting this with #whole30 - it’s basically an elimination diet. No sugar, no soy, no dairy (can’t do that anyway), no grains, no alcohol. This will carry on for 30 or more days and then we’ll see where I’ve got to.

But it’s more than that. You are encouraged to eat slower (that is one of my problems - I eat and drink everything too fast!) and to eat without distraction. No computer or TV, just taking time to enjoy your food and the company you’re with. Also you need to look at why you eat the way you do. If I’m stressed, bored or if it’s available, I eat. I’m a machine. A machine that’s going to not live very long if I don’t slow down.

Alcohol is a huge problem for me.

I have one drink, and then a few more and then I need to eat. Chips, noodles, whatever is available. It’s bad bad bad. So not only have I filled myself with empty calories but I’ve eaten all the wrong things super late at night.

Another problem I have is “free.” You buy me a drink or food or I’m at an event, I have to partake. But actually I don’t. I read “It Starts with Food" - the theory and outline of #whole30 and one thing really stuck out. "We’re adults. We can buy our own food…and we can say no." (Paraphrased but true)

I’m not cheap but somehow free seems better. But it’s not. Because it is not free. The picture above shows that.

Just as I know eating well is key, exercise is even more important. I need to exercise - it helps my body, my mind and my overall outlook. It’s where I get rid of the stress. I need to do this or I go back down the eating for pleasure route. 

So in order to stay on track, I’m asking for your help. The help of my friends and my family. Sometimes I’m going to say no. To food, to an event, to that glass of red. And I need you to be ok with that. 

I also need partners and cheerleaders along the way. This is very very key for my success. So if you want to set one day a week to exercise with me, I’d love that. I want to try spinning and yoga and start running again. My schedule because of travel makes this difficult but if you’re up for it, then I am too. I need to be active everyday. Maybe it’s just a walk at lunch or a class or a Saturday morning run. 

Let’s do this together shall we?

(PS you can follow my progress here and on my Instagram @heregoesheather where I’ll be diarizing my food and exercise)

Here’s how to make Bacon Breakfast bundles (or a veggie Dairy free one which is the bacon free one)

1) pre-heat oven to 350 C (we cooked ours at 400 today so the bottom of the bread got a bit dark and the yolks went hard after 13 minutes of cooking time)
2) butter/oil your muffin tin
3) cut a circle of bread for the bottom (we used Raisin Challah which is quite tasty)
4) Cook your bacon (or fake meat) until it’s 75% done. Turkey bacon actually works better to wrap the inside of the tin.
5) Place your bacon around the tin creating a basket in the center for your egg. Watch your fingers. It’s hot! I only had veggie sausage so I put a layer on the top of the bread with a bit of salsa for flavor. Next time I’m going to try smoked salmon! Yum!
6) break an egg in the center and place in the oven.
7) after 5 minutes, add cheese to the top if you want.
8) cook 5-8 more minutes. Yolks will continue to cook so make sure you take them out when still soft.

We had these bad boys with spinach cooked with fresh salsa and oven roasted potatoes. Happy days!

Finding your joy

See this man? He cut my keys this morning. I know, I know. Key cutting isn’t usually anything more than a mundane task after someone (aka me) has lost a set of keys. In my case, it was in my own house. But I digress.

This man was called over to cut my keys. I have a set of three. Two normal keys and one skinny key.

The skinny key needs a special machine. You measure the key, mark where you cut and the depth of cut, and then go for it. The first key he cut wasn’t quite right so he tried again. I didn’t mind. I was absorbed by a Buzzfeed article.

He cut it again. Brushed the key off and held it to the original.

The key matched! He cheered! “I did it! Yeeessss” This was a World Cup goal scoring level of excitement.

"Why are you so excited?" I asked.

He explained that not everyone can cut a key like that and he hadn’t seen one in ages. It’s a special technique and he explained how the machine cut a key by combining a number and position of the lever - like creating halves. Most of the team didn’t understand the half system so it was his own special technique.

He cut the next two keys, a grin from ear to ear.

I left the hardware store buoyant. He found his moment of joy, his work white whale, in a long thin key. Where was I going to find mine today?

That search for joy reminds me of #100dayshappy, a one a day photo challenge that has you capture one happy moment of your day. A reminder to yourself that every day has a bit of happiness in it. That we need to look for those moments of sunshine in our lives so that everyday is sunny.

It’s so easy to get up and resent your long day ahead. Get bogged down in minutia. But what will you create that will give you that joy? How will you nudge the needle forward? Get one step closer to making a difference? One step further on the path to your goals?

How will you find your one moment of joy today?

Breaking the food abuse cycle

I’ve been really re-inspired by the people around me who got on the healthy living train this year.

Last year I battled with myself, refound my love of running, ate healthy, cut out alcohol and lost 35 pounds. I wrote about it every step of the way and it helped me stay accountable.

Then I ran my marathon and promptly stopped all this good behavior. Now I’m back to where I started and I’m not happy about it.

I use food and drink as a crutch. There. I said it. Celebrations mean food. Sad days mean food. Stressed? Food. Bad day at work? Pass the fried calamari and red wine. Food. Food. Food. Nom. Nom. Drink. Drink. Blergh.

And as soon as I’m busy, goodbye exercise. Even though this would help me feel better, sleep better and be less stressed, I always have an excuse. Even though it’s only 30 minutes to maybe an hour. That’s it. I’ll lie in bed and watch a program for 45 minutes. Why not go for a run instead? Or do some weights. Or anything!

First things first, I have to have a spring clean. Get rid of old clothes. Old food. Old paperwork. Everything that is cluttering my life and my brain. Then make myself a promise.

When I’m stressed, bored, angry, upset, happy, don’t eat. Dance, go for a run, walk it out. And when it comes to rewards? Not food. Anything but food.

When I was a kid, we didn’t have a lot of money. Pay day meant a shared happy meal. A job well done? A treat. It’s not a bad thing. My mom rocked. And frankly food is cheaper than anything else a kid would like. Chocolate bars are only a dollar! There’s nothing wrong with the occasional treat but I still think of food being the best reward you can get.

Now I’m not saying food is bad. I love food. Food should be enjoyed. You should want a good meal. But I’m abusing it. I’m making myself a victim of food. And like a victim, I keep going back.

I need to change my relationship with food. This is forever thing. And I like eating healthy, I really do. So I just have to change how I think of food. It’s not the golden ticket. It’s not really going to make my day/night/life better. And I can’t just cut everything “good.” It’s about moderation and good choices.

It takes 30 days to form a habit. Today is day one.

Who’s with me?